Having a random hookup so left but love u
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
