I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
whose ass print is on the piano?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
