...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
