he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
