nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
