you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
