went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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