i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
