It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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