i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
