can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
