our cab driver is having phone sex.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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