is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
