I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
