Your mouth is God's brothel.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
