its not stalking. its research.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
