Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So much rum. So many feels.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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