he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
whose parrot is this?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
