Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
