i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
