Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
