I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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