Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
