Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
