1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
