just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
