Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I think a kid would responsible me up
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
