So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
