if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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