there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
