Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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