i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
