Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So many bounce houses so little time
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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