Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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