I've blown a few things in my day
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he was CRYING into my vagina
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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