She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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