Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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