So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
