How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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