why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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