So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
