It's just like the Real World with babies
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
