I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
