Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
