Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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