i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
