How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
