I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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