I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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