So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
