Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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